As a first born child in batak family, it means more burdens in life more than you can imagine as in physically and mentally. Moreover, if you are also a first grandchild in family, you will have a huge responsible to take care of and have to take part in every cultural ceremony and also in every family matters. It's a bit complicated to explain haha.




Frankly, as a girl and first born child and also first grandchild in my big family, I was quite depressed. My parents have already given big responsible to me since I was a kid. I have to take care our house, my siblings, our maids, etc. If one of my siblings got hurt or did some mistakes or got in a fight, I was the one who got punishment from my parents. Not my siblings or our maids or nannies. If I did some mistakes... wew.... I can't even describe it hahaha. Life was not easy for me. I had to dealt with so many things since I was a kid.







The one thing I hate the most for being batak is that our culture allow us to marry our own first cousin. And worse, it is actually recommended for doing so (in order to preserve pure blood of the clan, and to prevent stranger to take family's inheritance). How do you feel to grow up together with your cousin knowing that people around you forcing you to marry him someday? I was always crying every time I saw my cousins. I remember one of my dad's sister told me, "Oh my, I will be very happy if you get married with my son." She's still doing that until now because one of her sons still not married *headbangs to the wall*

People around me told me to get married to batak people, but I don't think I want to do that after what I have been through all this time. I don't want my kids entangled in family's politic in their young age. I don't want them to be stressed out with adult's problem before their time. I want my kids to have a very happy childhood with no burden that they have to do everything perfectly. I want my kids to have freedom to reach their dreams whatever it is and I will support them 100%. I will never let anyone dictate my kids' and decide their future, not even my own husband or my parents or my parents in law. I will teach them to love, not hating other people. Not even once. I will raise them with pure love only and with the right portion of discipline. That is why I can't get married with batak. I must not. I don't want my kids through the same thing like I did.

So please, God, I beg of You.

Don't You let me marry batak  >____<