The truth is... I do really really hate to say 'hate', especially when I mention someone's name behind that word.

Not that I'm trying to be a saint or anything, but the word 'hate' is kind of extreme for me. If I ever say that word, it means big thing. To be honest, I'm such a easy going person. I forget people's mistakes easily. I forgive people easily. I always tried my best to understand people who did bad things to me and that's why I could forgive them easily. That is why I don't hate people easily.

But, in your case--yeah, I think I hate you...

I hate the people who don't like to be judged, but they always judge other people.
Just like you. You always mad when I try to be honest with you. I want to make you a better person. I want to fix you by telling the truth about you, but you were so mad. You said that I have no right to judge you. You said I know nothing about you. You were right. Because no one can read others mind. Therefore, no one has right to judge people. But you then dare to judge me. You weren't even trying to see things from my place. You don't even know anything about what I have been through.

I tried to make you understand. I asked you to see things from my place, but you kept blaming me. You kept judging me. How dare you... You are not me. I'm tired talking to you. I'm tired to convince you to be on my side...to understand me.

I hate you.

No matter what I say, you still have this negative thought about me. Even if we're not fighting, even if we're such a good friends on the surface, even if we don't have conflict to each other, I still couldn't get rid the thought that you have misjudged me, that you think of me in a bad way.

Please, somebody tell me, is it wrong to push that person away? Because I couldn't bear to have fake friendship which I must fake my acts, my smile, and my everything to the person that I don't believe in. I mean, does any of you could be friends with the person who doesn't even believe in you? For me, it doesn't make any sense at all.

I do really hate that person.

And this 'hate' will not go away until I talk this 'hate' away to the person itself.

God, give me strength.