So, you love me? Why?
I don't know...

Are you sure you don't know?
I thought I know, but now I don't know anymore.

What do you mean?
When I was young, I used to pray to God that I want a guy with such eyes like you, tall, and has beautiful smile that could make me freeze, drawn with such a beauty. But, back then I thought it was impossible, and then unconsciously, I always hope for a guy like him.

Him who?
My first love. The first perfectness I found. He was my best friend. At our first year, we used to fight a lot. He didn't talk much and I was always misunderstood him, but I know every word he said was always right. And the thing that I like the most from him is he let me do anything I want. He's just like you. Sometimes you said the exact words like he used to tell me.

So, you love me because I'm like him?
No, it's not like that. You are not like him, but yeah in a way, you are like him.

I don't understand. Why I'm not like him and why I'm like him?
You are like the very combination of my dream guy and my first love. You are exactly like the guy I been always praying for. You are my dream guy. My perfect guy. I used to think that you don't exist, that you are not real. That's probably the reason I'm falling for you at first place, but now I don't know anymore.

Why is that?
You have hurt me over and over in the most hurtful ways. You said the worst words you could ever say to a girl. You've been ignoring me, killing me with your words, and you have left me couple times without saying a word. You made me cry hundred thousand times. But, I'm still here, waiting for you, chasing for you with blood and tears...

Then, why won't you give up?
I know that I should, but I can't. My heart, my instinct, are telling me to not give up. I've tried so many times to get over you. I've dated so many guys. I tried to fall for other guys, but the more I'm trying, the more I crave for your existence in my life. I want to see your smile, I want to hear your voice, I want all of you in my life. Could I be the one in your life, please? Could I be your last, your one and only? Why you said we cannot be together? Why you said we will never be together?


One Comment

  1. susah kalau sudah kesangkut perasaan frey :')

    ReplyDelete

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